Sometimes I worry about Life.

"do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" Matthew 6:25.

Sometimes, or most times, to be more accurate, I worry about Life. Life, so much meaning in a one syllable word. Life. The words in Matthew sound so simple but when it comes the action of these words all I ever do is worry. I find myself asking God why is Life so cruel, why can it not be easier, why do the ones I love have to get hurt by other people. Why do people I don't know have to die. I worry about not living this Life. Not having the courage to do things I would never do, well within reason of course.

I constantly ask the questions, How can I not worry about Life or my body. God those are the only things this world cares about and if I don't worry about them how will I reach the people of the world. They're funny questions and I realize the root of why I'm asking them is selfish. Because a lot of the time I am not worried about reaching people with Jesus, I'm worried about reaching people with myself.

All to often I find myself with these thoughts... oh the guy i like, likes somebody prettier, skinnier, and all, well God, I have to worry about my body, I need to look skinnier be prettier to be seen by this person. I don't know what I am going to do with my life, I need worry, because I need to figure it all out to be able to have an answer for all the people asking.

Honestly, I'm a horrible person. I am a disgrace to the name of Jesus. that may sound harsh. But I shouldn't care about that person that likes somebody else, because obviously if he doesn't "see me" than we aren't meant to be together and God is going to bring someone into my life that is far better for who I am, not for who I am not. And I don't have to worry about what I am doing with my Life, because what's better than living this Life for Jesus. All out.

to Live is Christ, but to die is gain. this phrase as always confused me. but the truth in this one little phrase couldn't hit me more directly in the face than it did today. In church the pastor asked that if we could have Heaven without God, would we take it. And I seriously thought about it. I'm living this life, trying to find the path that God wants me on and the joy that He has brought to my life is unexplainable. if I could have heaven without God, would I? Absolutely not, because Heaven wouldn't be Heaven without Him.

I'm a worrier.

I know that for a fact and it is something work on daily. To be more carefree, to have courage to Live. and right now the choices are staring me in the face. Those people I want to take a chance on are right there... do i go for it? Do I leave what I know and move to another country to live with people completely different than me? is it what God is calling me to? I don't know. I worry. I worry about if I were to leave would those I care deeply about, my family, my friends back home, my old and new friends I have made at college. Would it change our relationships, would we lose touch, would they forget about me. But in all honestly even if we did I know I would have Jesus and that makes the worrying go away.

You see if I were to die today, tomorrow, or even 90 years from now. I would still have Him. I wouldn't want people to remember me, I would want people to remember Jesus living in me. and how I lived out His footsteps. Because if people can't see Jesus than I guess I'm not living.

Living for Christ,

HIS and yours,

Cami