Sunday, September 19, 2010

Marry the Lamb.

*The reason I am living is to marry the LAMB!*

Revelation 21:1-7
"Then I saw a heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all of this, and I will be his God and he will be my son."

Friday, September 17, 2010

In Awe, In Need.

Create in ME a clean heart, Lord. Continue to transform me and change me to be more like you, more loving, more gracious, more holy, more wise. Wash me. Help me to have a soft heart towards people, to see the best, to hope the best, to speak with kindness. Renew to me the joy of loving people and seeing them follow you. Heal where I hurt Lord and let me not live out of that place, but hidden in You, satisfied in You, strengthened in You. I yield my heart, my life, my mouth, my thoughts, my actions – all to You.

God I am in awe and in need of you tonight. I find myself being uncomfortable by things people say and movies and actions. I don't know if I should speak about it or remain silent. You say in 1 Peter 1:16 "Be holy because I am Holy. How can I be holy? In my every day life, in the things I watch, in my actions and my words. Show me Lord show me.

Your daughter,


Monday, September 13, 2010

True Leaders. True Warrior-Poets. True Men.

"Rise up, O men of God! Have done with lesser things.
Give heart and mind and soul and strength to serve the King of kings.
Rise up, O men of God! The kingdom tarries long.
Bring in the day of brotherhood and end the night of wrong.
Rise up, O men of God! The church for you doth wait,
her strength unequal to her task; rise up, and make her great!
Lift high the cross of Christ! Tread where his feet have trod.
As brothers of the Son of Man, rise up, O men of God!"

-Hymn by William P Merrill “Rise Up, O Men of God.”

What does it look like when a man truly follows Jesus?
I've only seen it once, and it pains me as much as it scares me to say that it is rare. It shouldn't be something rare, Men who follow Jesus Christ, who Shine His light through their actions, through their words, through everything. It is rare.

When I meet men on campus I just don't see Christ shining through them, Not to be a downer or anything, but I think this campus is truly lacking in male leadership. I no I have no room to talk, because I know I am no where near shining the light of Christ in everything I do. I try, but I fail daily. But I think in this there is something, I, as a women could do, as well as other women; to spur on more godly men to being sparking fires to this campus. So here are my thoughts:

How am I as a women supposed to spur on a man, how am I supposed to respond to the vast difference between the righteous standard of Christ and the disturbing reality of modern masculinity? Criticism, nagging, or piling guilt upon men will not help them battle the enemy that so often tears them down. And neither will shrugging our shoulders and sayings, "guys will be guys."

What our men really need is a serious case of the saving, redeeming, transforming, delivering power of Jesus Christ.

And as a women, I, as well as any other women, play a significant role in seeing this come to our campus. So here's some ideas from a well known author to help make a difference in the lives of the men we interact with:

Hold men to a higher standard: God has such a huge vision for the men on this campus. Whenever there is a chance to encourage a man toward nobility and greatness- don't miss the opportunity. Ask them to sit down and talk with you and without coming off as a know-it-all or nagging talk to them about the man God wants them to be, with encouragement and motivation. And when they do something less-than-Christ=like don't just accept it, rather let them know that you believe God has something so much better for them, and fight for them in diligent prayer until you see real changes happen in their lives.

Women! DON'T THROW YOURSELF AT GUYS: according to Leslie Ludy, guys say that if women would refrain from throwing themselves at one guy after the next, and hold out for a true man of Christ-like nobility, it would force guys to change. So women, ask God to overcome your impatience and give you the strength to wait for a true-warrior poet rather than settling for less just because you're afraid you'll miss your chance.

And then with patience trust in Christ, allow a guy to prove that he is truly worthy of your heart, rather than tossing it to someone who doesn't value or treasure it. It you want a warrior-poet man, then become a true women of purity who knows how to guard her heart.

But Most of all Make Jesus Christ your first love: When a women has a Christ-consumed heart, guys no longer dominate her thinking, her actions, and her decisions. Rather, the Lover of her soul captivates her so completely that every guy she meets clearly sees that Jesus is, and always will be, the number on Prince of her heart.

Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you'll always be looking to mere men to meet the needs that only He can fill. It's the same with men, if Jesus is not the center of their heart and their devotions they are going to fill it with women and sports and things of this world. Only when we make Jesus Christ our first love, will we be ready for a relationship, a love story that reflects His glory.

It's something I am still working on myself, daily. This isn't for other people it's for me to realize that no problem whether it is with the women or men on this campus is too big for God to handle. He has a huge vision for His men on this campus- the very standard of Jesus Christ. And for me as women, it's taking a step back, being an gentle and quiet spirit, living a life set-apart, only for my King to know that God will lead His men back to Him. Not all, Few, but He will lead them back. In that I have Faith.

Faithfully and Prayerfully Waiting.

HIS and yours,


Bottle Cap.

Where we have been and where we are is not where we are headed! We must raise our eyes to the horizon and look for His coming glory. -John Bevere

The picture above was on a Jones Soda, that I don't often drink. It made me grin ear to ear, because it's exactly what I want to do. I want to step on the soil of many countries, spreading the gospel and pouring my life out for Christ.

"Who is the man that fears the LORD? Him shall He teach in the way He chooses." -Psalm 25:12

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Don't waste your life.

God's word says, "To whom much is given, much will be required." We are the ones to whom much has been given.

My life is yours my Heavenly Bridegroom, for You are the only one that can satisfied. No earthly romance will ever do. In this life, in this singleness, I am freer than I will ever be to give my life to those in need and become Your advocate for the least around the world. Take me. Use me. Lead me.

As the summer has gone and all the things that God taught me and continues to teach me are sinking in I have realized that He has a much calling upon my life then spending all my time and energy on trying to be a perfect student, a perfect friend, and trying to find the perfect guy. Especially the last one. Paul wrote, being unmarried/ single is an amazing opportunity to serve the Lord without distraction. It's that I might find a decent Christian guy by reading books on how to get noticed, or by joining one of those Christian Singles website. But what a great adventure I will miss out on! If I were to take this pen out of God's hand and try to script it myself. What romance, beauty, and glory I'd forgo if I were to try to script this story myself.

We as humans, in our human selfish desire are so focused on ourselves and what the world is calling us to. How to get the latest styles, become more appealing to the opposite sex, money, even school. We live lives completely focused on self. Meanwhile, children are starving, women are being sold as sex slaves, and so many families are being torn apart by AIDS, diseases, and poverty.

Right now these years of my life, more than ever, I have the ability to give my life for them; to pour out my time, my energy, my love, and everything I have to them. The question I have to ask myself is am I using my gifts to serve people or am I losing them trying to use them on myself?

Right now I am dedicated these years and all the years beyond to be poured out for the glory of Christ. I am willing to lay all my own pursuits upon the altar and allow Him to make my body a living sacrifice. It may be a painful letting go of my comforts and dreams. And it means that I am and will forgo my constant striving to find my earthly prince. But I am exchanging all this for a more "hidden" life of sacrificial service to Christ. It means becoming far less "available to be noticed by guys and other people as well, and far more available for Jesus Christ's purposes. This commitment may call me to an orphanage in Africa, to a remote village in Nicaragua, or an inner-city slum. God may ask me to pour out my life for one child, or give my life to rescue hundreds.

As odd as it may sound, I believe the best way to find a godly marriage partner is to stop hunting for one, and instead focus my entire life around Jesus Christ and His priorities. I should never put off fulfilling God's calling upon my life because I haven't met the man of my dreams yet. If He wants me to be married, He is more than capable of bringing a man into my life in the most unlikely way, in the most unlikely place.

Remember that there are many Christ-built warrior poet men out there who are praying and hoping for a set-apart young women – one who is not following after the trends of the culture, one who is not wallowing around in discontentment or on the prowl for a guy. Nothing would thrill a true warrior-poet’s heart more than to know that his future bride was spilling her life out for the sake of the Gospel. Want to find a godly guy? Focus on pouring your life out for Jesus Christ, and leave the rest to Him. As it says in Psalm 57:2, He will be more than faithful to fulfill His purposes for you.

If you are struggling with discontentment in your singleness, or even if you are married and struggling with trying to be the perfect spouse. One of the best solutions outside of cultivating daily intimacy with Jesus Christ is to forget about yourself and focus instead on serving and loving people in need. It’s somewhat counter-intuitive, but it works! Putting others’ needs above your own doesn’t lead to disappointment and misery, but to unmatched joy and fulfillment.

In Christ's Unfailing love,

HIS and yours


Thursday, September 9, 2010

My Heart is Torn.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" -Jeremiah 17:9

My heart is torn between where I am and where I want to go.

I don't want to be here. I want to be with kids, I want to be with people who want to serve Christ in their everyday life and actions just as much as I do. But here, I can't seem to find them. And that scares me.

I don't want to make a generalization, because the truth is I don't know everyone, correction I know no one. But I know that I need to be here, because if I didn't need to, God wouldn't have me here. It's a battle I daily fight to surrender it to God and say USE ME. Here. Because He has given me a task to Shine His light, not my own. Not for people to know my name, but to know His. Because if I don't point people to God for an everlasting joy, I don't love. I waste my life.

God has not called me to be made much of, but to make much of Him in every part of my life. I am slowly coming to grips with how He has and is changing me and realizing that I am different, I am changing, and the people around me aren't. I think the scary part of that is I feel like I am losing my friends. But God says to love nothing more than Him. Because He is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.

My prayer is that God will use me, especially in ways I could never imagine. Because He is the most amazing, unpredictable, loving God ever. I have fallen in love with Him more. I pray that the relationship I have with Him will deepen and grow stronger and that I will tremble and His holy name, having a holy fear for Him, and no fear for the things of this earth.

I believe that if you want your life to count, if you want the ripple effect of the pebbles you drop to become waves that reach the ends of the earth and roll on into eternity, you don't have to have good looks, or riches, or come from a fine family or a fine school. Instead you have to know a few great majestic, unchanging, obvious, simple, glorious things-- or one great-all-embracing thing- and be set on fire by Him!

I am just extremely thirsty, I feel like I am in a drought. But people go deep with God when the drought comes. I know how much I need the deepening, the presence of my Beloved. I am thirsty and God is calling me to the waters, Come and drink deep.

In Christ's Fulfilling Love,

HIS and yours,


Tuesday, September 7, 2010


God is glorious beyond anything I can say in words. He is near to us. In us. He has saved us. Let us tell the world. Starting NOW.

Life is more than breathing...

Life is more than living...

Life is more than just getting along...

Life is more that dying...

I realized today that I have been in an unusual slump the past six days, I think it has a lot to do with pushing God out because I was feeling so uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because I am so different now. Uncomfortable because my best friend won't even speak to me. Uncomfortable with people on this campus. Uncomfortable because I feel like I never know what's going on with friends or family. Uncomfortable because I don't know. Uncomfortable.

I need a resolution and I know only God can give it to me. So I know I just have to sit patiently and wait on Him, because He's the only thing I truly have. Now and Forever.

Because unlike the people around me, He will listen, He will understand and most of all He will never leave nor forsake me. Because He loves me.

HIS and yours,