I can't sleep with all these thoughts...

Sometimes my brain gets overloaded with all my thoughts shooting around my head. When all I want to do is sleep an extra hour, just sink back down into the warmth of my covers and the comfort of my pillow against my head, the thoughts some mornings tend to win out and I get up and write things down, think things around, pray things out. This is one of those mornings.

One of those mornings where I'm laying in bed just thinking about life in general, and all these things are coming up. And God's like "Hey Cameron, why don't you get up and think about these things, write these things down, meditate on my word and look deeper into my heart." So I give a frustrated huff and slide out of bed groggily with my journal, my pen, my bible and my laptop and say out loud, "Okay God what are you trying to teach me this morning." And sometimes, I wish every morning I would get this sensation, this urging because what I learn is so beautiful.

He created me to travel the world, to have a home in HIM, to have a lap for the orphans, a hand for the widows, a voice for the voiceless, eyes for the blind, and a heart for HIS people. And in each moment that's who I was made to be and that is who I will be.

I've been thinking a lot about reunions lately and I've decided that I don't think I like them. Yeah sure, it's a chance to see how everyone you haven't seen in a while is doing, but I also feel like it's this chance everyone gets to one-up someone, to try and fit in this box that everyone seems to carry around in life. This idea of "Look I have 2.5 kids and a house and a marriage and life seems to be seemingly okay, and if you don't fit in this box than you're strange. And I feel like I'm at that age, and I guess I am strange.

But I was not made for this box and neither was God and I have decided that I am not going to shrink down who I am made to be to fit into this box. Ever. Nor with I shrink who I know God to be to fit.

Some of us are made for the life of marriage and kids and a dog and a house with a fence and some of us are made for something different. Nothing any less, or any bigger, just different. This doesn't make either life any less extraordinary. I have friends who are single, dating, married with kids, not married with kids, just married, some living half-way across the word, living with their parents, working, living on their own, in college and everywhere in between.

Each of their lives are beautiful and unique, even when they can't see it.

None of us were created to fit in this box that we all carry around. No wonder our hands are calloused and our shoulders sore and heavy, carrying a load this is not ours to carry.

He created each of us to do amazing and beautiful things for His Kingdom, we each have gifts and talent that He has specifically given us. To dance, to sing, to teach, to love, to be a baseball player, a cop, a wife/husband, a parent, an advocate, a writer, I mean with God the possibilities are endless.

   He created me to travel the world, to have a home in HIM, to have a lap for the orphans, a hand for the widows, a voice for the voiceless, eyes for the blind, and a heart for HIS people. And in each moment, no matter where I am, that is who I will be.

Thinking on little sleep,


 HIS and yours,



  Cami