Sleeplessly Anxious

I can't sleep.
It seems to be a re-occurring theme when I am home for break. I think it is because I have time to think. To actually think. To think about what I am going to do once graduation comes. To think about the friends I have made and whether they will be lifetime friendships. To think about my passions, my desires, and the fact that as I sit here I think about how almost four years ago I thought I had it all figured out. And then God got a hold of my heart and turned my entire world into his upside down flip-flopped Kingdom. Because I want to be fully complete in Him, lacking nothing. But I feel like I lack everything it takes.

Four years ago, I thought I was going to be a high school English teacher and a writer. Thought I would teach the rest of my life, get through college, get a job, get a husband, get a house, have a family, and all that comes after that. But I realize looking back at that plan, God was no where to be seen. And here I stand almost four years and four majors later, about to graduate college and well none of that plan I had my freshman year of college looks like it is going to happen. I guess that is what happens when Gods grabs a hold of a heart and reveals that this life is more important then me. It's for Him.