"Faith today is treated as something that only should make us different, not that it actually does or can make us different. In reality we vainly struggle against the evils of this world, waiting to die and go to heaven. Somehow we’ve gotten the idea that the essence of faith is entirely a mental and inward thing." -Dallas Willard.
I've been asked to speak. I am at my wits end here, I keep looking at all these other people's lives and seeing what they have done and I cannot help but think that I am inadequate. Inadequate to speak to people, to serve people, to do the things that God is asking and yet He keeps on asking. But what do I, this twenty one year old lost girl, who does not know where she is going or what she has to offer anyone, especially God?
Why is it so easy to turn our backs on Him? One of the most powerful reason we do not totally surrender our lives to Christ is that we do not want to sacrifice the things we possess; because the truth is they have begun to possess us. These things can include our jobs, our material assets, our money, our communities and our friends, and even our families. We cling to them, often out of a desire for security, comfort, and happiness, even though we know in our hearts that we can only find real happiness by serving the Lord. Consequently, our things become idols. In fact, anything we put ahead of God in our lives becomes an idol. Jonah learned that lesson the hard way. God cannot give you the blessings He has for you until you first put down the other things you are clutching in your hands.
The words sound so easy but the action is the hard part. But living out this faith is not about going through the motions and it is not about just thinking or wishing or hoping or praying, but it is putting those things into action. To throwing everything that is in our hands down and lifting them up to Jesus. I've heard so many people say you need to spend four hours in prayer and fours hours in the word and this many ours worshiping. And they make it sound so easy but my question is. Have you ever been to college? How are we supposed to do all of these things, that they are saying will make us "better Christians" and still be in the world, spreading the Gospel. If we are shut in doing all these things, how are people suppose to hear? For me that's a hard thing to grasp onto, because I would much rather be with someone sharing the Gospel, then shut up in my room trying to pray. Now this is not to say that doing these things are wrong, I love the time I get alone with God, but I love the time I get with God and with others, it is one of the only ways I know how to share His love, loving on other people. Though sometimes I do a horrible job at it, I love it.
The truth is, I do not have this Christ-like life down, and I know I am not anywhere close. I fall and fail everyday of my life, it is a constant battle, a constant reminder that I am a sinner and God has more for me. But each day I wake up with His love in my heart and His light in my life, and I know that He is with me and what else can I do but surrender to Him and let Him guide me. It is hard to let go of, scary even. My future, the things I am going to be doing the rest of my life. I have no idea where I am going. I have no job, no boyfriend, no place to live, and no clue what is going to happen come the day of graduation. But I do have One thing, and that is God, and with Him I know I can go anywhere and do anything. Because He is always with me and His love never NEVER EVER fails. He is taking care of me and I know that it is time to let Him, to throw my life to the sky and let Him take a hold of it. to Wait. Wait. Wait. to Surrender my daunting future to Him and you know what. I trust Him.
Waiting on His Call,
HIS and yours,
Cami
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9
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