Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Goodbye.


Goodbye.

Sometimes it's a word we want to say. Other times, it's a word said out of necessity.

But saying goodbye is rarely easy, no matter how necessary we know it is.

We say goodbye a lot in our lifetime. Whether you move a lot when you're a child or you say goodbye to a passing of a loved one, or you just say goodbye every time you leave somewhere. When I was younger I remember 5 distinct goodbyes. # 1. When we moved from California to Iowa, when I was six years old. I remember saying goodbye to all my family out there and I remember sitting in our big green and white van saying good bye to Radene, while she handed me my very own dream catcher. # 2. When we moved from West Des Moines to live in Ogden, but go to school in Grand. I remember bawling my eyes out, I was in fourth grade, and I couldn't imagine leaving the friends I had made in those 3 years, and I was only 8 maybe 9. # 3. When my sister and I switched school at the then end of 6th grade to attend Ogden, instead of Grand. I didn't cry, I kind of figured it was coming. I tried not to get to attached to people, but it was a useless situation and I ended up sad saying goodbye to the friends I had made. # 4. When I said goodbye to my older sister the day she moved out of our house. It was the hardest goodbye of my life because under the circumstances, it just wasn't a goodbye I was ready for. And though my older sister and I never got along all that well when we were younger. I still loved her and looked up to her, and having to say an unprepared goodbye is really hard. # 5. The day I graduated high school, I said goodbye to my friends and classmates that I had spent 6 years getting to know and since there was only 74 of us I knew everyone by name, which I think made it even more difficult. Not only that but I was going some place else, a place that no one in my class would ever want to go. A Christian College. So I knew it would be one of the last times I would see most of them. Which has ended up being very true, and kind of sad. But I have to move on, it's a part of life.

Even since then there has been many goodbyes, when I said goodbye to my sister as she headed off to college in California, to my best friend, Deanna as she headed off to college, to my parents as I myself was the last one to head off to college. To friendships that mattered so much to me, but I had to let them go, I had to say goodbye. With every goodbye there is always a hello somewhere in the midst. I haven't always welcomed it, but it comes around, eventually. Maybe that's why I try not to get to close to people. I love people I do, but for a long time it was hard for me to open up to people, because I knew in the end I would always have to say goodbye.

I've gotten better, I am more open, sometimes I wish I wasn't, but I have become an open person, loving caring, well at least I like to think I have. But goodbyes still haunt me, they lurk around every corner. I hate saying goodbye.

Maybe that's why i find the consistency of Jesus Christ in my life to be so important. Despite all the goodbyes I have to go through, He is the one person that will never say goodbye. I cling to that truth. God is my strength and without this relationship there would be no reason to live. I couldn't live without it.

Sometimes we say goodbye and it hurts us. Sometimes we need to say goodbye but we don't. But we cannot find the beauty in the next stage of our life until we embrace the willingness to move on from things we now find familiar. It may be among the most difficult of all life asks of us. Yet is is one of the most important.

And through the searing pain of saying goodbye to something or someone that has our heart...and the joy of saying goodbye to a moment in time we'd rather forget... the One who stands with us, beside us and for us, is the consistency we need to realize. Our new hello.

Because with Him, there will never be a reason for goodbye.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." -Deuteronomy 31:8

In 4 weeks I will be approaching another goodbye. I will have to say goodbye to my friends and family and the comforts of home to travel across country to serve my Beautiful Lord. It's something that for a while I've been scared about, but my Lord has given me a great sense of peace over the whole situation. And though I have to say goodbye, I will be back, but I will be forever changed. I am ready to go, but I am still preparing myself to say goodbye.

But I know my Sovereign Lord will be with me always. He will never leave me, and in that I find comfort. Because I know through Him I can do all things.


In Christ love,

His and yours,


Cami

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