You Know.

You know everything God,
You know what's going on inside of me even though I don't understand.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know where I am going. I don't know who is really real and who is fake. I thought I was okay, I though I had everything under control. I didn't think I would go through this again. These thoughts, these feelings, these sins, these regrets, these pains. I know what you're asking me to do. But I don't know if I can do it. I am not the person you want God. I'm ugly, I'm disobedient, impatient, liar, cheater, stealer, I'm afraid. Of every evil inside of me. God Help me. I can't take any more I can't be the goody girl, but I don't want to be the bad girl. Why can't I be someone in between. I'm tired of everyone telling me who I should be and how I should act. I'm tired of faking it. I'm tired of acting like I know what I'm doing. Cause let's be honest I have no clue, where I am going, where you're taking me. I'm scared. I'm pulling away. I'm running away rather than into your arms. I can't God. I can't be the person everyone wants me to be. God you know what I am, you know what I do. You know who I was you know what I've done. Help me. There are so many things to say and I don't know how. You know what's going on in my mind and my heart. I can't express it anymore. I'm tired, I'm sick, I sad, I'm exhausted, I'm frustrated, I'm angry. That's not me. I don't want to be that person again. Ever again. Help me to see what you're doing. Help me to be strong in the overwhelming weakness. I'm afraid. Be my Strength O' God. You're the only one that can save me.

Your daughter,

Cami