There is Nothing Wrong with You...

"There is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4:7.





I have returned to Iowa, and soon will be returning to school. It's crazy how much can change for only being gone for 3 months. Friends getting married/engaged/finding relationships. Death of family members. Friends that are no longer friends. New people to keep up with. And so much more.

When I returned, I felt so out of place and at times I still do. I feel like I m constantly getting in everyone's way, everyone is always on the go and I just want to sit with my Bible and my journal and pray. In an instant I felt lost, like I didn't belong like something was wrong with me. I opened my Bible at 3 in the morning last night, when the thought popped into my head, to Songs, I was planning on reading 5:10-16, because it's something that God placed in my heart this summer to memorize, but instead my eyes landed on Song of Solomon 4:7, which I underlined early this summer "All beautiful you are, my darling; there is NO flaw in you." As I read this I heard a faint whisper through the darkness saying. "There is nothing wrong with you, all beautiful you are, my darling. There is no flaw in you." And then I cried. Yeah, I seem to be doing that a lot lately, and at times it's been getting pretty annoying. But I was amazing how God never ceases to, well... AMAZE ME!

It's been a eye-opening, heart-fulling, life-changing summer. 3 months ago I began on this journey that I never thought would change me so much! I started off the summer thinking "I can't wait for God to use me so much." But little did I know that He would use these kids to touch my heart and change my life for good. You see at the beginning of the summer and into the summer I was fighting these battles with myself, inner spiritual battles of things I just don't want to let go. At times I feel like I don't fit, I don't work with people, I am better off as an independent, that I have so many flaws is the reason why I am alone. And God, He was sick of my complaining. haha. He Chiseled me down so much, that I am still sore and hurting. (the good hurting, you know like after you work out type :P). I discovered little things and He used the kids to show me things! And showed Himself mighty, true, and faithful. If I didn't have God, I don't think, no I KNOW I wouldn't be anywhere near the person I am, or have the amount of faith I do. All because God is my life, my love, my all in all!

Most of all He showed me where my true desire lies. And the fact that I don't any desire to have a boyfriend, or sit down and watch hours of tv or movies, or read magazines, or be on facebook 24/7, and so on. That is all okay, in fact it's better than okay because I have so much time to PRAY! And dig into the Word and just sit at the feet of my King and drink in His presence.

And when I feel like I don't fit in, it's because I don't and I'm not suppose. I am becoming a corpse to this world, and the world is becoming a corpse to me. If people don't accept me, it's okay because God accepts me, He loves me. What I love determines what I feel shame, and sadness about. If I love people to make much of me, I wil feel shame and sadness when they don't. But if I love for people to make much of Christ, then I will feel shame if He is belittled on my account. Because God and God alone is the alone treasure that last. When everything in my life was stripped away this summer, when I couldn't shower, when I had no constant contact with people, no computer, sometime not enough food. I found that I had God and He could fill my every need, He took away the hunger, the stink :) and so much more. I trusted Him so much more because He is all I had and because of that I gained so much more this summer than I could have ever imagined.

This is nowhere near everything that happened this summer, this is just something I need to share for encouragement. Because I know they are people out there who feel as if they don't fit in, and they waste their life on trying. Listen to God, "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU." You are okay, better than okay, just as you are. You don't have to be funnier, cuter, quieter, trendier, more spiritual, have a relationship, have a million friends. Rather than defending yourself from other people's opinions and your own as well, let those five words fight for you. Look to God because He says "There is nothing wrong with you."



In Christ's flawless love,


HIS and yours,


Cami