There is a sign we pass on the way to Mwanza City that reads "A billion reasons to believe in Africa." Most days I agree, there are a billion reasons to believe in Africa. But then there are days like today. Day when I see a women get pulled from our DalaDala and beaten to the ground, because Miriam and I chose her DalaDala over his. When their screaming echoes through my ears, because I chose to ride this one over that. When all eyes are on us because we are the "Wazungu" the white people. Days like today I think maybe there aren't a billion reasons to believe in Africa.
It's hard not to get discouraged. Katie Davis once wrote "I feel like working in a Third World country is like trying to empty the ocean with an eyedropper." And I would have to say I understand those words and the feeling. It seems that at one moment there can be so much hope and then a second later that hope is dashed by something painful or another problem or sickness. In the month that I have been away from home, I've had many moments like this. Moments of discouragement and moments of hope. This past weeks was made up of those moments.
A moment of hope, when I spend time with the family that I am living with. The girls teach me to cook Chapati and teach me Swahili. I've learned how to cook charoko, rice, chapati and other things… Africa style (cooking over coal stoves). Dancing with them and laughing with them, just brings so much hope and joy to my heart. I also love sitting outside and seeing the stars and talking with Baba Joseph and Mama, talking about work and family. The love and the willingness they have to welcome us into their home is just astounding and brings me so much joy.
A moment of discouragement, when we visit the village and see the conditions people are living in, and in asking them what they think can be done. They tell us nothing can help them, that they have no hope in themselves or anything to help them pull themselves out. It's hard for me to grasp, because I refuse to believe that the conditions one live in is based on where they are on the map. My heart aches for the children and the families, because I want to do so much, but I know I can do nothing, only God can restore their hope.
A moment of hope, Being with the children on Saturday was so, words cannot even describe how much my heart overflowed with love and joy for these kids. Their white smiles against their ebony faces and the laughter that echoed through the trees as they ran and played with us. The joy that flowed through those voices and in their eyes. God knows exactly where I needed to be and that is right where I am, with those families, with those kids. Loving.
And that is when I realized that my purpose here is simple and I can't believe it has taken me so long to see it. I am here to love. I am not here to change a situation, I'm not here to stop mother's from abandoning their children, or solve any world problems. I am just here to love deeply, love recklessly, Love like Christ. And even if I can love even just one child, one mother, one family, that they can see the hope I have in Christ and their hope may be restored, than I will have succeeded. I know Christ will work in and through me, I just have to continue giving everything to Him.
Look at people the way Christ does and love them. That is what I am trying to do each day. Just to Love.
Loving like Christ,
HIS and yours,
Cami
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