Today I turn twenty-two.
Today I board a plane to begin my journey to Tanzania.
Today is a step forward into a new life, into the life that God has for me.
I have prayed, packed, said goodbyes, prayed, repacked, cleaned, talked, cried, showered, and prayed some more. It seems like time has flown by so fast, this summer feels like a blur and so do all my goodbyes.
But today is about more than just the day. It's about the journey and new beginnings and being able to see for the first time in my life that I am different, that I am called to be the hands and feet of Christ, and that does not make me weird, or strange, or an outcast. Actually quite the opposite, even though at times I feel unwelcome and rejected in this world. God has taken me and brought me into His family and his loving arms.
The crazy thing about this is that through all the struggles and frustrations and happiness and emotions God has brought people into my life and taken people out of it. He has made me see the blessings he has given me, through a random interaction with another missionary on Twitter to long phone conversations from friends at Northwestern, to my family helping me calm my nerves and surprising me, to seeing who is truly there and who God has placed around me as support. And it's awesome. I am so blessed!
Today is a day that I stop looking behind me, stop thinking about what could have been and start thinking about what is now, what God needs me to do and calls me to do. I still believe that I am unworthy for this, but God often used the worthless things, He does not call the equipped but equips the called. And I think that if I thought I was worthy enough to do this, than I would be doing the wrong thing, or the right thing for the wrong reasons.
So my flight leaves in 5 hours and i don't know if I will be getting any sleep. but I just want to thank God and all the people who have been there for me since I mentioned the word Africa! To my mom and my dad and my sisters and brother. my aunts and uncles, my entire church family.to every person who supported me financially and prayerfully to Kelsey, Sam, Danielle, Valor, Jeremy, Adam, Michael, Dan, Sean, Gee, Kate, Kristie, Jean-Jean, Megan, Leslie, Julie, Tj, Laura, Michelle, Laura, Lindsey, Anna, Charlotte, Amanda, Kayli, Nanner, Mario, Amy, Jason, Chelsea, Monsma, Chris, Ray, Hayley, Ben, Asher, Ashley, Val, Sadie, Becca, Jenna, Katie, Greta, Darlene, All the girls and two boys that went to Uganda with me, and so so so many many more people. (If I named all of them we would be here FOREVER!) To women and men on twitter I don't even know who have been praying and talking with me. I just love the way God has, is, and continues to use people in my life. It blows my mind.
I use to think that I wasn't worth anything. I constantly felt rejected by friends and by people in this world. because I didn't laugh at the same things they did, because I didn't get there jokes, because I didn't want to go out and do the things they did, because I dressed differently, because the things that I wanted to do never wanted to match up with the things everyone else wanted to do. But I have realized that I am worth so much more to HIM. that the world can call me worthless and people can reject me, but people's opinions are not important compared to Jesus. I am second next to HIM and I pray that I become more like HIM, that the world see's HIM. He says in HIS word that they will hate me, because they hated Him first, but I can take heart because He has overcome the world!
Life could not be any sweeter. God is calling us all to step out. We all have struggles and difficulties, whatever they may be, it's inevitable we are sinful human beings. But God takes us and tell us that we are worth something and that He has more for us than what we believe or even imagine. And when we take that step, that leap of faith. there is no telling where it may take us.
Might even be halfway around the world to a country called Tanzania. :)
Soon to be Boarding a Jet Plane,
HIS and yours,
Cami
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