"God's holy beauty... stirs your drowsing soul... He creates in you the desire to find Him and run after Him- to follow wherever He leads you, and to press peacefully against His heart wherever He is." -John of the Cross.
It's a Saturday morning and I haven't slept at all. The weird thing is I'm not really tired and I know I'll probably feel it later on, or most likely Sunday, but don't you ever have those moments where it's like I can't go to sleep now, God's tugging on my heart. I love these moments because when it's late or early is when I am the most sensitive to what God wants me to hear. Because I can't be noisy and crazy, because everyone else in the house is asleep. How do I know? I can hear my dad and my mom snoring two doors down from me. I can hear my brother mumbling in his sleep, and my sister's light is still on which means she is still up, or just fell asleep with the light on again... I never really know.
It is at these times I get the most random thoughts or feelings, like how much I love the smell of my new Bible and how much I love the sounds of the crisp page as I flip through it looking for the scripture that has been tugging at my heart. Or how I love the sound of my music coming through my headphones right now, and how no matter how hard I try I can't help but sing-a-long. "You won't relent until you have it all, My heart is Yours, Jesus."
Anyhow, I feel like this is just a randomly rumbling mumbling blog, but I love these nights where I can't sleep until I pray, or I can't sleep until I've found that scripture that's been digging at the back of my mind. And when I do, no matter how late it is I feel refreshed. I feel relaxed. I feel peace. I'm at that point where now sleep comes last compared to God and I never thought I would get to that place. And now I don't know how I ever managed to get 7-8 hours of sleep in when there is so much to pray for, so many people that don't know Jesus. There is so much to study, so many book in the Bible. It's amazing how once, just one time, your eyes are opened and after that you never see anything the same again.
Like earlier today, I went outside after it's been a downpour for the past two or three days and the sun was shining it was warm and I looked up at the sky smiled then looked down at a little flower my mom had planted and cried. I cried at a flower! I am so overwhelmed with the beauty of God's creation how can I not cry at it? Is that weird? Yeah probably to most people, but for me it's a new way that I have began to look at things, at people, at situations. How would Christ look at this? It's pretty cool I have to say.
Anyway the prayers that have kept me up have been prayed for, I know I'm not through but I also found the scripture that's been tapping at the back of my head and I figure I should just close my ramblings with the Word of God. Because really what's better than the Word of God?
"The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." -Isaiah 58:11.
In Christ love,
His and yours,
Cami
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