You think by now I would understand and remember how faithful our God is. I mean He even tells me in His word not to worry. "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food; and the body more important than clothes." Matthew 6:25.
And I'm human... I do realize this. And I'm living in a culture where planning out your life is a part-time job. But here's the thing... I'm not a planner, never have been and I probably never will be. I picked out my college very very last minute and most it was based on the fact that I liked the way it looked in the fall. I like doing things on a whim or when I feel that gentle tug on my heart. Plans just seem boring.
Overseas it was so different. It's hard not to look back at the person I was there and wish she was here. It's hard to explain to people that it was there, it seems I didn't have a care in the world. It was there that though my burdens were heavy, His yoke was extremely light. That there people don't have time to plan. The people that I have fallen in love with in Uganda, Haiti, Tanzania, Kenya, people I interacted with. children I held in my arms, women whose hands always seemed to find mine or the hair on my arms. They didn't know where their next meal would come from, some didn't even know if they would make it ALIVE to the next day.
And yet life was so full.
Full of love. Full of joy. Just overflowing.
Not knowing if they would have food for tomorrow but welcoming me into their homes and feeding me their food and loving on me. I never felt so worry free. Life seemed like it was there in that moment and for me that's how I've always desired to live my life and this was everyday. For the family who shared their bread and rice with me. For the family who always served me Chai, because they knew... knew how much I loved the way they made it. For the family who taught me how to cook Chapati's three nights in a row until I got it right.
Those people truly embodied Matthew 6:25. WIthout a care in the world, without a worry in their mind. They have faith, they have love, and most importantly they have Jesus. And this is what I desire deep in my soul. An overflow of joy and of love for others and for God... an overflow of carefree, worry-free days. Just an overflow of Christ's light shining from me and warming other people's hearts, the way so many people over there warmed my soul. Because the only plan I've ever had is to serve Him and love His people.
I know worries will always be there, but I cannot... CANNOT forget that God provides... He always provides. My worries range from my car payments to Holo across the ocean. To problems at work, to the problem in the government overseas, to my family here and to my family in Tanzania.
My worries stretch across the seas. But my God stretches further than the oceans, I must never forget that. My heart has found so much joy serving these beautiful people that the world calls "poor" but to me they are so rich. Rich in joy, in faith, and in love. Riches of the Kingdom. Riches from the Most High. That's the kind of riches my heart desires.
Casting out the Worries,
HIS and yours,
Cami
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