Stillness...

The water is lapping against the canoe. It's peaceful out here on the water. The stars blanket the sky, making the blackness seem beautiful. I close my eyes and listen to the voice behind me, listen to the music of the insects and the birds, listen to our paddles hit the water, just listen. Inhale, exhale. It's such quiet, such beauty, I can't fathom being anywhere else in this moment.

I want to break the minute of silence with my voice, but I press my lips together and hear "Be still, my daughter. Be still." Just for a second, for a short moment in time I look up at the sky and I feel Him, He's surrounding me. He's here in the water against the canoe, in blinking of the stars, in the soft voice that echoes behind me, in music of the insects, and the ripples from our paddles in the water. He is here, in that moment, in that silence, in the stillness He is here.

And it's what I've been waiting for, for months it seems. to just stop, to soak everything in and finally listen. To hear Him, to feel Him, to know Him.

Stillness. Freedom from noise or motion; calmness; quiet ; silence.


At the beginning of the year I picked a word to challenge me, to push me down this path and to help me grow closer to God. Picking this word though, I didn't think I would really struggle with it. I thought it would be kind of simple to do, but being Still is definitely harder than I thought.

I realize I talk to much.

I realize I do not listen intently.

I realize I listen with the intent to answer instead of hear.

I realize I am an interrupter.

I realize that stillness is just not my thing.

I'm constantly in motion. this is a fact, I like to be busy. Even if it seems like I'm not doing something, I usually am. I fill my days with work, or people, or talking, or reading, or something. I've realized in the months that I've returned from living in Africa, that I was more at rest in Him there than I have ever been here. And I think that in that there is something missing, in that something is wrong. Because no matter where I am I should be at rest in Him. I should be Still in Him. But I'm not.

It's amazing the things a person can learn when they don't open their mouth. So after this peaceful weekend around the lake and fire and with amazing people, I decided that maybe coming home I would try to soak up that peacefulness and let it fill me. Let the stillness fill me.

Driving to work this morning I turned on my worship music and instead of pouring out all my request and prayers I simply said, "God, help me to be still. help me to listen to your voice. help me to take in the silence, may I be still so that You can move." And the entire drive I didn't sing a long to the songs, I didn't speak until I got to the door at work. And it was strange to not hear my voice echoing through the car. Strange in a peaceful kind of way.

You see for me, there are moments when all I know to do is to just talk to Him and sometimes I can go on and on and I'm surprise His ears haven't fallen off with the amount of words that pour into them. Yet He is still listening, He is even listening when I'm not saying anything, like this morning. He can hear my heart, He knows my thoughts, the silence is for me, not for Him. The silence is so that I may hear Him not that He may hear me. The stillness is so that for a moment, even for just the tiniest of seconds I can feel Him, hear Him, know Him, His glory, His love, His peace.

The hardest part of being still is just that, being still. In a world that constantly wants me to be doing something, God wants me, for just a moment to be motionless. To be free from the chaos and the noise of this world and be with Him. And that my friends, that moment is beautiful. Whether it be on the lake in a canoe, in my car, laying in bed at night. Whatever, whenever it is beautiful He is beautiful.

Because He is the answer. In all the chaos, in all the confusion, in all the silence. The answer to this life is still Jesus. It will always be Jesus. It will never stop being Jesus. Jesus is enough, He will always, always be enough. Nothing else can satisfy.

Yeah, I struggle everyday, to be patient and still and really wait for what God is asking of me. I know He is faithful to those who love Him. So I want to continue to be faithful to Him. To be still and Know that He is God, that He has me taken care of.

So for now, I'm learning to take the path less traveled. Learning to listen and to wait. Learning that it's okay to not have an answer to things. Learning that it's okay to dream big and to leap out in Faith. Learning to be still and open my eyes, my ears, and my spirit to what the Lord is trying to show me. It's a tough thing. But it's a beautiful thing.


Being still so that He can move,


HIS and yours,

  Cami