The phrase kind of caught me off guard. I don't know why, I imagine myself back in the situation again and can't seem to figure out why I didn't see that coming. Maybe I'm naive or slightly oblivious to the fact that I am a little bit different from other people. I don't know but still this phrase... this one sentence kind of knocked the breath from my lungs and made me gather my thoughts coherently before I said something stupid without thinking.
We were standing in the back room of the store processing clothes and just chit-chatting to pass the time. One of the girls began to talk about her one year anniversary, which led to everyone else talking about the men in their lives and then it came to me. of course, as it always does.
"So Cami, you got any men in your life?" the question bounces off the back room walls and echoes through my ears. I hate this question and I've never understood why it's phrased that way and why people feel the need to ask it.
So I stand there silent for a moment pushing hangers into t-shirts, thinking about my answer and the last time I got into a conversation about being single... and then I just said. "um. Just one." I don't know where it came from, but I knew exactly why, because this was my moment. My opportunity I had been asking for.
And squeals came from the woman around me, followed by questions. "Is he cute, what's his name, is he the one?"
And I kind of laughed, because I knew my answer would be something they didn't want to hear. "Well I'm not really sure what He looks like, but I can tell you He is amazing. He can walk on water, heal the blind, and He never leaves me."
They all kind of stop what they are doing and look at me like I'm crazy. "no... I mean a real man." One of the woman say from behind me.
I chuckle and kind of look up to the ceiling... like "okay God, you are in this." And then I'm speaking. "He is real, I see Him everywhere and in everything. In the raindrops and the sun, in my best friends laugh, in the little children I think about daily across the ocean, in the random i miss you texts from friends, I see Him in every person even if they don't themselves."
Silence...
Then it's like someone let air out of the room. and one of the ladies speaks "That's pretty cool, I guess I kind of understand."
And I smile at her.
"You're not really a type of girl guys would date anyway. You know?" She looks down at the shirt she's holding as if realizing what she just said was kind of hurtful.
And this time instead of getting upset I laugh. I mean full on belly laugh, leaning over on the table. Then all the women around me are laughing. And I look at her through joyful tears and I say, "to be honest as of right now there is no guy that I would date. There is no guy that I feel is right for me. And I'm okay with that, I'm okay with it just being me and God, to be honest I wouldn't want it any other way."
We're all smiling and she says "You're pretty amazing. And just a little bit different."
"You can thank the man upstairs for that one." I smile and we continue hanging clothes.
Someone's humming along to the music and I'm laughing at the way God works and loves and answers my prayers.
And then one of the woman turn to me puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "I respect everything you said, I may not agree with it, but I love how open you are, and I can honestly say I'm surprised that no guy has snatched you up. Because man whoever does better be in for one hell of a ride."
And just like that God's open more doors for His love to pour out and into. And I'm so amazed how often His love just blows me aways. Sometimes love is patient, sometimes love is kind, and sometimes it just rocks your face off. And lately it's been rocking my face off.
That He answers my prayers in sharing Him with others at my work. It's my biggest desire and one that He's like okay I'll give you the opportunity, it's not going to be easy, you're going to be judge and called names, but you asked for the chance and I am giving it to you.
And I think that is the way with life. Every moment is a chance. Every interaction an opportunity. and if we are not showing Christ through love or actions or words, than what are we really doing. I miss these opportunities every single day. But there are moments, like this one, where God's clearly says speak and words are in my mouth before I even have time to think.
Here's to more moments like that,
HIS and yours,
Cami
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