A letter to the world...

Let me tell you something world. You see I don't fit you. I don't fit into your ideas, into your molds, into your boxes. I don't fit into this cookie cutter image of a woman that you decided I have to be. I don't fit because I don't want to. I don't fit because I have been saved from that. been saved from the world, from you and what you tell me to become, but more importantly I've been saved from myself.

Saved from the girl I used to be. The girl who wanted nothing but to be the world. To be this image. to be this woman that was pushed into her mind from tv and magazines and internet and other women around her. To be this definition of beauty, that quite frankly doesn't exist. You see I hated me. I hated my unnaturally large feet, and my crooked smile, my hairy arms, and frizzy hair, my bitten finger nails/ large hands, and my loud awkward laughter. I had list and list and list written up, taken down, in my head, on pieces of papers, in mirrors and windows I'd walk past. I could see it everything I wasn't. 

Don't try to tell me I am beautiful world, because I know what you think of me. I know what you say behind my back, when you think I'm not looking or listening. Because I've felt it. Every single word, every single glance and stare like ice down my back and in my veins. World, you may wait until I'm turned the other way, but you make sure I see it and I feel it every day of my life. You make sure you know that you want me to desire your approval. You want me to fawn over this image and idea you have of me to be. 

But let me tell you something world. Let me tell you what I think. Let me tell you that I don't need your approval. Because I am approved by Someone much greater than you. He knows me and He loves me. World, He doesn't desire me to be anyone else! Get this world, He created me to be this person. This person that you are trying so hard to change, to make into your way. But I'm not made in your image, I'm not made in your way. I am made in His image, in His way. Because His thoughts, His plans, His ways, and His creation is so much greater, so much more than anything you, world, could ever fathom. 

You see, world, He created every part of me. My beauty is in my flaws, my beauty is in Him. He made my large feet to be covered by the dusty roads of foreign countries, my crooked smile to shine at strangers on the street, my hairy arms to be pulled my sweet ebony hands, my frizzy hair to be brushed through and played with by my niece. My bitten fingers to type words onto pages, to rub away soreness in little children, my large hands to cling onto those I love dearly and those who just happen into my embrace. And my laughter echo off walls in church buildings and schools, and homes, and hallways, and in the middle of nowhere Africa, to show the joy of Christ. You see He created me. He made me the way I am. Why would I want to be you world, when there is so much more to me?

World, you and I have always had our issues, but God calls me to be something greater than what you ask of me. He calls me to be holy. you call me to be pretty. He calls me to be selfless, you call me to be selfish. He calls me to love everyone, you call me to love those who look a certain way. And world, I can't help but tell you that you are wrong. You're wrong. Your ideas, your molds, your boxes. They are all wrong.

Yeah, my image doesn't reflect yours, Praise God for that. I like my steak and potatoes, my burgers and fries. I like carrying kids on my back and having messy hair.  I like my height and I like my weight, I like my sweatpants and sweatshirts. I like my natural face. I like being dirty, I like sitting on dirt floors in sweltering heat getting eaten alive by mosquitos and loving on widows. I like all of these things. And all of these things in your definition of a woman just doesn't fit. And I'm okay with that. I was not made, nor was I born, nor will I ever become a worldly woman. I am made to be a Godly woman. 

World I just have one more thing to say. Stop. Just stop. Stop objectifying my fellow woman on TV and magazine covers. Stop telling us our worth comes from men and from clothes and shoes and relationships. Stop telling us we have to be a certain height and a certain weight. Stop. just stop. Stop trying to fit us into boxes and molds that we were not made to fit into. Stop telling us were are flawed. Just stop. 

Because we are beautiful. I am beautiful. God has made me and has told me. His approval is all I need. He makes me worthy. Not you world, not you! 

"All beautiful you are my darling there is NO flaw in you" Songs 4:7 

World, you could be so much more. You could be beautiful. But you're sinful and so am I. The only difference is I've received this grace and walk in His love and faith. and You world, you're determined to be your ideals and your mold. But I will not. He is my King, not you. He is my Rock, not you. 

But world, He loves you. He loves you. So come back, come back to Him, He's waiting for you.

Sincerely, 

  A woman whose been hurt by you, but Healed by Grace.