Pieces of Love. Pieces of Me.

I was running today.

Wait. What.

Cami... Running.

Yeah, I know those words don't fit in a sentence together. Like ever.

Cami hates running. I do, I literally hate it.

I run better alone. Actually I do a lot of things better alone. But running is something I prefer to do alone. I'm an ugly runner. Literally i look like a baby deer learning how to walk, and I wheeze and cough and trip over my feet. I run ugly. So I like running alone... there's more freedom to run ugly. But there's even more freedom to think clearly.

Lately I've been running a little after work every day. And I've notice my mind is a little clearer when I finish than when I start. And for me that's saying something. I find I have time to think. to reflect. to listen to the constant beating of my heart and the shallow wheezing of my breath and my feet hitting the pavement and my mind churning and thinking. Thinking of things upon things. Of places. of people. of pieces. Pieces of me and pieces of love. and what those pieces really mean.

If I can be honest for a moment, my heart is scattered in so many different places. There are kids who hold my heart in Alaska and the Yukon, there are prisoners in Texas who hold my heart. Kids in Haiti, kids in Uganda, in Tanzania, in Kenya. Friends in South Dakota, Minnesota, Europe, Nebraska, California, Virginia, Florida, Indiana, Iowa, the list goes on. My heart is scattered across lands and country-sides and airport terminals. In dirty hands and prodding fingers, my heart has had it's share of bumps and bruises and flips and flops. But I wouldn't have it any other way, I wouldn't change the hands that have reached out and touched my heart. I wouldn't change it because that's the way God made my heart to be. Soft and Strong. Soft enough to care and love deeply, but strong enough to withstand the exchange of hands.

Amazing, actually is the word to describe. God is the ultimate carrier of my heart and HE has allowed pieces of me to be scattered all over the place all in HIS name. It's amazing. Amazing Grace, and Amazing love, that's what it is. You see Those pieces are Jesus. Jesus teaching me how to love deeper and reach further and grow stronger. He teaches me and I scatter them. I reach out wherever I am, and I pray that Jesus is the one being seen.

You see, I want pieces of my heart, pieces of me scattered all over this place. All over this state. All over the country. All over the world. And I want all those pieces to be JESUS. Every last one of them.

I lodge pieces of myself in every place I love. And I have loved deeply every place and every person I have seen. They have carried my heart, even without knowing it. I have lodge a piece of me with them. A piece of love. and love. Love is God. And the more I live radically, the more I love recklessly, the more pieces of Jesus they will see.

And that is the end goal. To love and to make Christ known.

That when I come to the end of my life people aren't remembering me by the clothes I wore or the jobs I worked, or the nice things I did. But that they would remember how I much I loved them and how much more I loved Jesus. That I would have scattered HIS love so vastly and so deeply, that there would be no words said, no songs exchanged, but just love, His glorious, graceful love.

I guess love is what I'm learning and I don't think I will ever be done. Just scattering HIS love and HIS word any chance I get. To love when it's easy and when it's hard. To love when there's light and when it's dark. To love with no regrets and no worries. Because God ultimately carries my heart, and He's placing it in spaces I have yet to even dream about.

Scattering Love,


HIS and yours,


 Cami