Dust. to. Dust.

"the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." -Genesis 2:7.

I don't know about anyone else but the dirt is one of my worst enemies. Seriously for a person with contacts and clumsiness dirt has a way of finding itself in my eyes and nose and mouth and face. It's annoying sometimes, and if anyone has ever been in Africa then you know the dirt there is some of the dirtiest. No pun intended. It's hard to get off your clothes and your feet and hands and underneath your fingernails and for me it was always on me. And me being the normal person I am wondered how in the world did God form a man from this? What every person wonders, How can God make such beautiful things from dust, from the thing that gets people dirty.

It's an interesting concept to think about. "For He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust." -Psalm 103:14. We were formed from nitty gritty dirt and yet Jesus washes us clean, over and over and over again. And I think about it and I wonder why didn't God just snap His fingers and tada a man? But of course God is so awesome He gets His hand dirty... with DUST... and creates a man. A living, breathing, walking, talking man! And then from that man's rib he creates a woman. How amazing is it that our God can take nothing but dust and create something so wonderful so beautiful.

Dust. to. Dust. "All go to the same place; all come from dust and to dust all return." -Ecclesiastes 3:20.

This seems like a bunch of rambles but I know there is a coherent thought in here some where. I recently heard this song about how God makes beautiful things out of the dust and it just made me think hard. That God will make beautiful things out of the dust in our lives, and He will use our love and weak human efforts to build Himself a Kingdom. But just like God, we have to get our hands dirty. One of my favorite things in Uganda was the dirt. I loved the smell and the feel of it. I loved when we were filling up one of the rooms with dirt, because I smelt like it the rest of the week. It was awesome and I loved the feeling of it underneath my fingernails and the feel of it in my eye and the taste of it in my mouth. Gross right. But I was building something for God, towards His Kingdom and that was worth all the dust in my eye.

Life isn't about seeing how you can get by shining bright and clean, it's about getting a little grit in your skirt, a little dirt in the eye and underneath the fingernails, all in the name of God and building His Kingdom. The slogan for the organization I worked with this summer was "Get Dirty For God." and I have to say it fits not only my personality, but the work and the calling that God puts on lives. He doesn't call us to be Sunday Christians, He doesn't call us to be Fake Christians, who go serve somewhere for two weeks, stay in a hotel, and then go home and show all our souviners to our friends and families. He calls us to go and get dirty. To live with the people, to eat what they eat, feel what they feel, and get dirty.

You don't know the dirt is there until you get it in your eye or underneath your fingernails. And I think in our society we are blind to so much that is going on in the world, the rest of the world is like that to us. We don't know they are there until a hurricane or earthquake or famine hits them and then we want to move. But the truth is God is calling us to move now, because disaster is already there, we just have to open up our eyes long enough to let the dirt get in our eyes.


In Christ's Cleansing Love,

HIS and yours,

Cami

I want to be reckless.

Things change so fast.
People change.
Faces change.
Places change.
Feelings change.
Life changes.
I've changed.
And yet, some things are the same.

I don't know how to put into words what my heart is going through. God only knows how much His love is pouring into me right now and how much I need it. It's been hard adjusting back to American Life, to Home life, and now to "Northwestern Life". Things here have changed and yet stayed the same, but I, I am different and right now I am trying to listen and take direction from God on what that means. My soul cries out to be with Him always, to forget about classes, forget about what this world calls important and GO to wherever He wants to take me. To be reckless... recklessly abandon to Him and to His will.
I'm not talking about a irresponsible uncaring kind of reckless, but a reckless that has Christ all over it. Christ in it, through it. I find that my recklessness desire is slowly creeping into my "Northwestern life." I want to make friends and share the love of Christ, and I could care less who they are or where they come from, but just the matter of loving new people that God has called me to love.
To run across the green singing worship songs... to SING, to DANCE, to LOVE, to LAUGH, to CRY, to be RECKLESS in all these things. What would that truly look like. Is there such a thing as a Christ-like recklessness? I don't know, but I want to find out.
I miss Uganda everyday, more and more. I miss singing and talking with the people there. Deep down I feel like I will return there, but only when it is God's timing and I need to realize that, because I know that He has things here for me to do, otherwise I wouldn't be here. Though since returning home I have seen many things much more clearly then I have before. That God has asked me to be a missionary wherever I am. He has called me to these friends, to this school, to my family, to the classes and the places I go. To shine His light, to share His love. To step out of my comfort zone even more so and REACH.
I know one thing is for sure. I need to shed this shy, nobody likes me exterior, and show people my heart, which is Christ. to Love DEEPER, to Laugh HARDER, to Sing LOUDER, to Dance CRAZIER. All in the name and honor and glory of my beautiful Lord, Jesus Christ.
No matter what's going to happen with Christ as my strength, I can do all things. Without Him I can do nothing. With Him the possibilities are ENDLESS.

In Christ's Sweet LOVE,

HIS and yours,

Cami



“…I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb… And they cried in a loud voice, ‘Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.’” (From Revelation 7:9-10)

Hellos, Goodbyes, Departing, Returning.

It's strange. The two words that can describe how I have felt since returning home not even 24 hours ago. It's strange to be riding in a car on the right side of the road. Strange to put my clothes in a washer and not in a bucket, to turn a faucet handle and water comes streaming through pipes, hot water nonetheless. Strange to sleep in a bed and not on a concrete floor. Strange to flush a toilet. Strange to not hear Mzungu yelled at me from every street. Strange to not see beautiful orphans. Strange to think that I am home, but my heart is still in Uganda.

This summer was everything I couldn't imagine, nothing was how I planned it in my head. And I know that is exactly how God likes it, and in all honesty I can't argue with Him. He knows me. Instead of being in constant contact and care with orphans, I help take care of sixteen American teenagers. Having sixteen very important lives in my hands was something that scared me to death, at times I felt like a mom or a big sister, but I grew, man did I ever grow.



But watching over these sixteen American kids, didn't detract from the bigger purpose God had for me, He sent me to Uganda, a place and a people that are forever engraved onto my heart and in my mind. The staff members, that I got to work along side with and got to know have forever changed my life with their love for the kids, for me and for everything God has given them, even when compared to American lifestyle, it's nothing. And the orphans. Words cannot describe what my heart feels for each one of them, even though I may not have been able to spend the amount of time I desired, God gave me chances and stories. The joy on their faces to receive a pair of socks and shoes, that some wouldn't put on because they wanted to save them for as long as they could. With so little they live and are blessed and are joyful. There are stories among stories that would take up pages and pages and yet I can't find but one word to describe the feeling in my heart. HUMBLED.



I am excited to share stories and pictures with family and friends and yet in my heart I know the stories and pictures will never ever do the experience justice. They could never truly feel what I have felt. Seen what I have really seen. Held a new born baby and dedicate it to the Lord. Cry, Laugh, Be Frustrated like I have been. But without the stories and the message that I bring back, people will never know the need and people will also never know the blessing, and the work that God has in His hands.



It is crazy to see this summer come and go so fast when it seems like just yesterday I was leaving home to go to Florida for training. And now here I sit, two months later, home. My words cannot even explain this summer and all that God taught me, through good and bad, expected and unexpected.



I know His plan for my life is far more than anything I could ever imagine and i will continue to wait on Him with prayer. I can't even fathom right now that I am home, or soon headed back to college and yet that is where I am headed. For I know my purpose is no yet finished there, especially at school. I pray that I can make it through this year smoothly and that God will help me to stay disciplined and not be distracted from what He has fro me.

The people and love of Uganda has forever left a giant footprint upon my heart and I know and hope that someday i will be able to return to that place. I have never felt more at home and comfortable then I did there. In my heart Uganda will always be; its orphans, its people, its love, its culture, and so much more. I praise God for this once in a lifetime opportunity. Who am I to be able to be a part in furthering the Kingdom of God? and yet He wants me, He is calling me unto Him and I will continue to serve Him with a heart full of joy and love in whatever He has me do.



"If the LORD delights in a man's way, He makes his steps firm: though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand." -Psalm 37:23-24.


In Christ's unexplainable love,


HIS and yours,

Cami

A New Journey

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Isaiah 52:7

And so a new journey begins. In 11 hours I will embark on one of the biggest journeys of my life. Africa. It's been a dream of mine since I was eight years old to go to Africa, and here I am 12 years later and God has brought that dream to life. In all that He is, He never ceases to amaze me.

My life has been made up of tiny journeys combined to make bigger one, but this one takes it all. God knows deep down in my heart that this is where I want to spend my life, with the orphans and the widows, loving them with my every being. I love Him so much, even though times I am the worst person at showing it, He knows and I know that I love Him and will always love Him, nothing and nobody can ever take me or separate me from my Jesus. Everything I need is found in everything that He is.

I realize that throughout my life He has been building me up for moments like these. To be poured out, to live a life worthy of His calling. And I realize when I am not doing these things, when I am not pouring out my life for the Gospel and for Jesus Christ, my life is meaningless. It is something that I struggle with, but it is something that needs to reflect in every aspect of my life, like a diamond or a prism shining in every direction, every person, every part of my life and who I am.

“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping” God has been leading me by my right hand, guiding me, allowing me to take my steps and follow in His. Trust me their big feet to fill, but I've got the rest of my life to keep trying. :) Too often I get so focused on my destination I forget about the beauty of the Journey, the best part. The journey is what builds up, makes a warriors and lovers of God, it's how He test us, proves us, and refines us. That is the importance of our journeys and with God guiding us we won't ever be lost.

So here I begin a new journey, but when this one ends I know there will be a brand new one waiting at the next turn, because God always has a plan, He knows exactly what He is doing. And with my Beloved, there is no doubt at the very end of this journey I will be in my King's arms, dancing in streets of gold, full of joy and love, for the Man who has won my heart for now and all eternity.

HIS and yours,


Cami

1 Week; Dependent

"If you are a child of the King, nothing on this earth can satisfy you...nothing"
- Paul Washer

The time is coming closer. Soon I will be united with my team members in Florida, I can't wait to see all of them, train, and then before we know it we will be flying to Africa. A lot has happened in the time I have been home. I've gotten to see new friends, old friends, lots of baseball, and spend time with my family. But not only that, I've seen God work in amazing and unexplainable ways. My dad keeps asking me "how big is your faith?" Usually I say big, but I know it's nowhere near as big as my God is. I'm learning to be dependent on Him and only Him and put all of my trust in Him.

I know there is no way I, by myself, can prepare for this trip. The truth is I'm taking a good look at the person in the mirror, because I know once I step on that plane I won't ever be the same. I keep worrying about the money and the material things and the plane tickets. But this all worldly things that will be taken care of by the One who controls this world. I need to stop looking at the worldly things, instead I need to look more to my Father in Heaven, because He has provided everything I need.

"You must stop looking on the wrong side of things... Lift your hearts to heavenly places and look down upon events from that vantage point. You will see life's temporary sufferings as a gathering of pearls and jewels with which we will be adorned in eternity." -Richard Wurmbrand.

I know that I am going to love wherever God takes me for the summer as well as for the rest of my life. I am dependent on Him. Nothing on this earth can satisfy my hunger and my thirst. For God gives me living water, water that goes deep that never runs dry. Where this world will someday run dry, but as I look ahead, as I run this race marked out, I know I am running toward the Heavenly goal. The path, the place, the race that He has marked out for me.

Jesus has all I need in this life and eternity. Nothing can or ever will change that. The worlds got nothing on my Jesus. And He has me in the shelter of His wings guiding me towards my goal and into His Kingdom. And I can't wait until that day. But until then I will attain my place here on earth. Seeking, Loving, and Waiting for the day when He will return for His bride.

I can't wait to see what's in store for the summer.
I can't wait to see what's in store for the rest of my life.
But I know that whatever it is and wherever I go, the Lord, my God will be with me every step of the way.


HIS and yours,

Cami

Dependent on You
By: Jon Thurlow

Surely I’ve calmed and quieted my soul
Like a child press against his mother
Surely I’ve calmed and quiet my soul

And there’s not a care in the world
when I am trusting You completely
And there’s not a care in the world
when I am trusting You completely

So help me to trust You and
Help my unbelief
I, I wanna be dependent on
I wanna be dependent on You


Psalms 131
Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child.

Two weeks

In two short weeks I will be leaving home and headed to Africa. Words cannot even explain the excitement I am feeling in my heart right now. The fact that I am going to be living out my dream in two short weeks has not yet hit me and I don't know what will happen when it does. A lot has been going on in this short month that I have been home. Many battles within myself and also among people. It's hard to come back to my "hometown" because I know I do not belong here anymore. That it is time for me to move on from this place and the people here. God is calling me somewhere else and I want to be where He takes me, because in all truth, that is where I belong.

I can constantly feel myself changing and growing. A guy I have a couple classes wrote this "Christian spirituality is like jazz music. Loving Jesus is something you feel. It is something very difficult to get on paper. But it is no less real, no less meaningful, no less beautiful." That is the best way to describe me. I feel Christ moving through me, guiding me, showing me where I am supposed to be. And sometimes it gets tough, because the world does not understand. God deliberately chooses things the world considers foolish. Because God is not of this world and neither are we. We are designed to love and dwell with our King.

"Men choose a religion, but a Christian is chosen by Jesus Christ. To be a Christian means to belong to Christ. Jesus asked me to renounce even my life to follow Him faithfully, not to fear the world even if my body must perish. I prefer to know that God, the Almighty, is with me, even if it means that the whole world is against me." -Pastor Mehdi Dibaj.

So God chooses things the world considers foolish, well that would be me. I am foolishly, crazy in love with God, and if that means the world doesn't want anything to do with me, than I will make it more known and I will fall even more in love with Him, for with God there is no depth to his love. Nothing can measure the love He has for us. And if we stop for one moment in our worldly consumed day we would be able to feel and to realize a fraction of that love. Through the sunshine, the green grass, the wind on our faces. We must see Him in everything, because He is in everything.

My heart flutters with anticipation to see Christ in a little child's face. To hold and hug and love and comfort that child with all that I am. To know that I am may be considered foolish by the world, but to God I am His daughter, His servant answering His call. Answering the call of my Beloved. No one else can answer this call, because it was designed for me. And no matter how much I push the ignore button, or hang up on Him, He continues to call, because this is His design, His plan for my life. And no one can get in the way of that. No family, No man, No friend, Not even SATAN can separate me from my Love, my Father in Heaven, because He is where I am, He is everything I need. Everything I have. Everything I want.

The Lord, my God. He knows me, He loves me, it's Him I cling to, it's Him I desire to see, and in Him I am what I am.

HIS and yours,


Cami

from this day forward...

I will make a difference.
Jesus, I thank You that You suffered and died for me on the cross to pay for my sins. Father, I thank You that You raised Jesus from the dead to be my living Lord and Savior. Holy Spirit, I thank You that You will lead me to do the right thing and change my world. Today, Lord, I want to make You a promise. I will not be ashamed of Your name or Your Gospel. I will do what I can for those who are persecuted and pray for them. I will look enemies in the eye and love them with Your love. I will pray for them and love them-- no matter what the consequences. I will follow Your voice wherever You lead me, unafraid, for I know You will be with me. If I should stumble, if I fall, if I should deny Your name, if I should feel guilty that I did not pray or forgot to do something You've asked me to do, I will not quit. I will not wallow in guilt. i will turn back to You, confess my sin, and do what You called me to do, because that is why You died for me. I will stand with You and my brothers and sisters around the world, because no matter what happens, no matter what I face or how it looks, in the end, we will be victorious- we will inherit eternity and heaven with You. I can do nothing else, because
... I am am Your daughter, a radical lover of the One and Only King of Kings and Lord of Lords.